(The promise had been made by the four boys. It made sense, in a strange sort of way, that they should seal that wound between the core group. It felt right.
But that didn't mean that Eddie didn't want to bridge the distance between himself and the Losers who had been absent during the promise. Ben wasn't in Avagi, but Beverly Marsh was. Eddie also was not quite as upset with Beverly as he was with Ben, or as he had been with Bill. He was still upset, but by now, he has realized that he was mostly upset because nothing had been resolved and that was almost worse. He had made it clear when they last spoke that he had been too angry, too upset to want to talk to her.
That was different now. Now that he was back to sharing space with Richie on a nightly basis, now that he was talking with Bill, now that he felt a little more himself. Beverly and him weren't really the tightest, but she was still a Loser, and in a way, she was something like the only sister he'd ever known. At least from home, anyway. She was special to him in her own way, and maybe he wasn't as close, but that connection was something he felt at the very center of his soul. He couldn't shut her out forever and frankly? He didn't want to.
So one night, late after he's gone on a walk, he comes back to the unit. He checks in on Richie briefly, moves through the unit quietly, and waits to make sure Beverly was alone in her room. Finally, he knocks at her door.)
[Space is really cool, though the ship is something Bev isn't used to yet. It's all very Star Wars if you asked her, and she wasn't fully sure if that was good or not.
When it comes to being with the Losers, Bev's just a little bit more withdrawn. She wants her friendship back with all of them- the one they had before they all showed up in space. Before this stupid future vision of this woman that wasn't her. This woman that would leave her friend in the sewers.
When the knock comes, Beverly's on her bed, looking at one of the books she's grabbed from the library. The name Bevvie gets her blood to run-cold for just a moment before she recognizes the voice. Eddie.
Her father isn't here, she reminds herself. He can't touch her here. She's in space.]
Eddie? Yeah, sure. [She braces herself. He has every right to be mad at her. She knows that. But holding a decision she has yet to make against her hurt.]
(From whenever Eddie came from, he had called Beverly 'Bevvie' quite a bit. It was a little childish, maybe, but he liked it enough. It didn't occur to him that this might be a different version of Beverly too, and one that might not like it so much. He opens the door upon permission, and slips inside. He hesitates on whether or not to close it. He's never been alone in an enclosed room with a girl before, and he has a feeling this is one of those things that wouldn't be okay to do. He leaves the door open just a crack and moves inside.
It's a lot more awkward for him to be personable with Beverly. He doesn't know if he's allowed to sit on her bed or what, but finally, he decides to just treat her like the guys cause that would make this all a hell of a lot easier.
He pulls himself to sit down on her bed directly across from her, his legs crossed. He isn't looking at her, but the fact that he's here says enough.)
Um. You weren't technically here...Uh. I've been here for a while, and technically you missed my birthday back in November but so did everyone else so it's okay. Which means December was just recently, but I don't think you were here for Christmas. I still made you something though.
(He'd made one for all of the Losers, even the ones not here. Ben's was the only one without a ribbon though. He removes a badge from his pocket, and it's wrapped with a pink ribbon because of course it is. Girls liked pink, after all. 'Bev' is written in his surprisingly neat hand on one end of the bow, and then on the other, a simple 'For the only girl who bothered'. Bothered to what?
Eddie hands it over silently, his palm open and badge up.)
[Her father would murder her if he ever found her in a room alone with a teenage boy. Well, he wasn't here, and she wasn't going to have to see him ever again. She was forgetting Derry slowly, and hopefully she'd forget her father along with it.
Somehow, she knew she was never going to be that lucky.
Beverly puts her book down and leans forward, crossing her legs. She rests her elbows on her knees. She's trying not to feel bitter- she'd been so excited to see all of the boys, but not one of them had been excited to see her. There was a wedge there she'd never felt before, and she didn't like it. The first few nights, she'd cried herself to sleep, muffling her tears into her pillows. But she wants to know what Eddie wants to say. She's apologized for something she swears up and down she would never and will never do- Bev had put out a cigarette next to the reminder on the wall, a petty sort of way to say she'd got the message.
She allows herself to be pleasantly surprised, however, when he says he's gotten her a gift. Something he'd made. Beverly feels a rush of warmth through her chest as she takes the badge from him.] Wow, thank you, Eddie.
[Carefully, she removes the ribbon- it's pretty, and her room has a long way to go before it reaches the level of decoration the boys have going- but not before looking at the tag. Her face softens and she holds the bow to her heart, and she smiles.
Her smile widens as she looks at the badge.] Losers Club. I love it, Eddie. Thank you.
[She reaches out and hugs him, hoping that maybe this time, he'll hug her back.] It's all amazing. [He was one of her best friends. How could she leave him?] You're amazing.
(Similarly, Eddie's mother would murder him- and Beverly- if she ever knew that this was happening right then. Also similarly, Eddie wished he could forget his own mother, but it seemed like parents were the most stubborn memories. Eddie and Bev had always had unique situations with their parents more so than the other Losers. The extreme ends of one case being mental, and one case being physical, and maybe that was their special connection. After all, there were bad parents, and then there were bad parents. Eddie and Bev understood that too well, even if their suffering were on opposite ends of the spectrum.
He'd feel worse if it weren't for the fact that literally all the Losers had been crying themselves to sleep. This hadn't been easy on a single one of them, but Eddie was here to hopefully make things better. And not just with a little gift he had slaved over in the workshop.
This is the first gift he has ever given a girl, he realizes, and he feels his face flush as she carefully pulls apart the ribbon. A part of him was anxious she would take it the wrong way. He wasn't like Ben or Bill. But he keeps his mouth shut and trusts her to understand.
Eddie can't help but smile in relief when he sees Beverly smile.) Really? Thank God. It was hard making the words look so nice.
(This time, he does hug her back. And he makes up for the time he didn't by not just hugging her, but outright clinging tightly to her. That hug tightens even more fiercely when she said that he was amazing. She still smells like summer and Eddie lets himself relish in this, tucking his face into her soft shoulder. She was a lot different to hug Richie or Bill or Stan. But not different in a bad way. She was soft all over, and he liked it in the same way he sought comfort in hugging Rogue or Clara. He lets go after some prolonged time and sits back, his smile fading. But not into a bad expression, just a serious one.)
I'm sorry, Bev. I know I was- kinda harsh and...you weren't even there for everything. I was really upset. There was a lot--. But I know now, I know that the you here...You wouldn't do that to me. I know none of you would and I gotta believe that. I do believe it. You're my best friends.
Edited (forgot an important word woops) Date: 2018-01-06 02:46 am (UTC)
[She knows- at least on some level. Beverly hadn't missed the way the boys had looked at her that day at the quarry. All but one had looked at her in deep appreciation. All but Eddie.
And you know what? She didn't care.]
How did you do it? [She wants to keep their conversation going, keep it as light as she could. Of course, that plan fails miserably when Eddie hugs her so tightly. She hugs him back just as tight, not wanting to let go of him.
By the time he pulls away, she's blinking away tears like an idiot.]
I-- [She could tell him how angry she'd been, how unfair it all felt, how lonely she'd been. She was living with her best friends in the entire world, boys she thought she'd never ever see again (barring their promise), and it had been like- hell, the best way to describe it was the changing room before Phys Ed with Greta right next to her. Uncomfortable, to say the least.]
I promise you, Eddie- I will never ever leave you somewhere. [Maybe in the future. But if she could remember this, it was worth everything.] I'm so sorry you saw that. I love you, Eddie- I never want to hurt you. I just want you back in my life, all of you.
(Eddie would have been frazzled by the different memory. The same way he still didn't know how to look at some of his own memories, or his own feelings. All that had been coming up to the surface lately, and it's been a lot to deal with. Everything has been a lot to deal with.
And truth be told, even despite everything, Eddie was grateful that Beverly was here. Each one of his friends felt like a different layer of armor to be wrapped around him.)
I'll show you. There's a workshop here. It isn't too hard, honestly. (Eddie was good with this sort of thing though. But he also knew Beverly was capable, and a bit of preconceived notions of women had begun to die out as he met more and more incredible ones here on the station.
There isn't too much of an option for lightness right now. There will be though, and Eddie had to have that calm faith in them all. Eddie would understand her though. He had been lonely too, Richie probably the most if only because it was Richie, and Bill, and Stan. It was miserable. He only felt bad in a different way for Beverly because she really did miss it all.)
I know. I know you wouldn't. (He means it too. Eddie blushes a little, but he smiles, because all the Losers had told each other they loved each other over that. He shouldn't have anticipated any differently from Beverly.)
I love you too, Bev. (A lot, he realizes.) We're all trying. It's a little weird with all of us. Like- there was- it was...Eugh. I'll explain it better some time, but a lot happened in those visions. It isn't so simple as saying like, oh it sucked because you all left me behind. I mean. I died just like Georgie, Bev. My arm was ripped off.
(He is pretty sure he doesn't need to explain to Bev the kind of impact that probably had on Bill.)
And Richie- he was trying to get me out. I was trying to tell him something before I died, and-. There's just... A lot that happened. And then there's the other visions we saw..(Richie's being alone, Eddie's wife, Bill's cheating. Stan's suicide. He wants it to be clear to her that...it wasn't just one thing. It wasn't simple. They were all going through a lot.)
We need each other now more than ever. So uh. Richie...He made us do a new blood oath. (Eddie removes from his pocket a small butterfly knife.) I was...wondering if you'd want to make it with me?
I'd really like that, [She says earnestly. Eddie found something he was good at and that he liked and she was happy to learn from him.
Beverly looks down- she knows exactly what sort of effect that had to have had on Bill. Gosh, no wonder he hadn't been around lately. She couldn't blame him in the least, even if she wanted to. Even if she did sometimes.]
Other visions? [She hadn't heard about Richie or Stan or even Bill's future.] Tell me, so I don't do something stupid. [Say something careless, or do one thing and wind up setting one of her friends off for no good reason.
Bev looks down at the knife- the scar on her palm had closed, but it was still scabbed over.] Yes. [She doesn't hesitate, eager to put the nail in the coffin of this particular trial. She wanted to be their friend again. Fully their friend.
She was never too great at walking on egg shells.]
(It was set then. He'd teach her. It would be fun, even, to have something for just the two of them to do. Eddie had something special with the other boys, after all, so it was good to have that with Bev too.)
Yeah. I don't think there's anything you can do that's too stupid. We don't know each other in the future, after all. (All their mistakes were their own.
Which wasn't fully true. He knows about Bill and what he does with Beverly when they meet up again- despite Bill being married. Eddie can't say that though. It would be wrong to Bill, and in a weird way, to Beverly. That was something Bill had to talk with Beverly about when he was ready to.)
It's okay. Just understand that not everything's gonna be personal. (Some things, obviously, but he feels like it's better to just leave things generalized for right now.
Eddie opens his own palms, and there's fresh cut across one palm. He picks up the knife and gently takes Bev's hand and cuts a straight line across it. He's rather professional about this, not dragging the blade with a skipping falter a bit like Bill had. There's something medically precise. Not too deep, but deep enough, and straight across. He slashes the opposite way of Bev's original scar so he only has to hit it briefly. He watches her hand open up, watches the red come out, and then turns the knife over to cut across his other palm, grinding his teeth together through the process. He lets out a breath, curling his fingers absently, before he sets the knife aside and grabs Bev's hands. Only it isn't straight across. He has to cross his arms over one another to grab Bev's hands with his opposites and he makes her do the same. In a weird sort of way, they wind up forming a bit of an infinity symbol between their arms. It somehow fits.)
Okay. We leave no Losers behind. We stick together. We're a family. We're gonna prevent all those futures we saw. We're not gonna let any of us die. I promise. (He looks up at her expectantly.)
[Wow, it's like everyone thinks Beverly just really freaking sucks in the future.
Wait till they all find out about where Ben plays into it.]
Okay- thanks for telling me, Eddie. [She nods, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. Her red hair was getting shaggy as it grew out of it's pixie cut.
She holds out her hand to him, hardly flinching when he ran over her palm- she'd learned to take most of her licks silently. He's good with a blade, she can't help but notice. Maybe he'll grow up and be a doctor. He'd make a damn good one.
She moves to take his hand, only to pause as she figures out which way to put what arm. Honestly, it's a bit silly, the dance, before their arms and hands settle at last.
Beverly listens carefullly to every word Eddie says, committing it to memory. When it's her turn, she nods, and squeezes his hands.] We leave no Loser behind. We stick together. We're a family. We're gonna prevent all those futures you saw. We're not gonna let any of us die. I promise.
[There's magic in the promise, in the way they hold hands. Personal magic, or something shiner like the magic they'd found here on the station. It didn't matter. What mattered was she could feel it.
(Truthfully, everyone thought everyone sucked in the future in different ways. None of the Losers got off scotch free with this one. After all, Eddie turned into a basket case who essentially married his own mother.
Thankfully for the time being, there were no more future visions to be seen. Eddie had avoided the Ingress since everything had happened though.
That wasn't so far off from his timid aspirations currently. But Beverly would come to learn that soon enough. They were all changing here. In good ways, even though it seemed not so good at the time.
It is a little silly, but Eddie's never done this with just one person and it somehow felt dumb to just do it normally. When Beverly repeats his words, Eddie smiles at her rather broadly, squeezing her hands tightly with his own. It stung a little, the cut, but it was the kind of sting that made Eddie think that the magic was working. He could feel it too, just the same way he'd felt the other promises he had made. He lets go of her hands a second later and frowns down at both their palms.)
We gotta sanitize this.
(At least they got better about that part? Eddie even came prepared with some iodine and bandages. He holds out his good hand to Beverly.)
[There's something so incredibly purely Eddie in that moment as he brings them both back to reality. She can't help but screw up her nose a little and laugh, not at him, but at the whole situation.]
Yeah- that'd be good.
[She places her bad hand in his, cut up so that he can clean and bandage the fresh wound. She'll watch him work carefully, peering over the top of his head to better see what he was doing.]
(Eddie has long since learned the difference between being laughed at, and being laughed with, that he doesn't feel paranoid that she was laughing at him. He doesn't know why she's laughing, but it gets him smiling all the same.
He's very careful with Bev. Not just because careful was his nature of being, but because she was a dear friend and he was careful with all of them. He pours the iodine out over her cut and gently dabs at it with a clean cloth. Once it's dried up, he rubs an ointment over it to prevent infection even further. Next comes a non-stick gauze, and around that, he wraps the whole thing very securely.)
Let me know when you need that changed. I have this place stocked up on medical supplies.
(Shocking literally no one. He does his hand up with the familiarity of a boy who has done this to himself a whole lot. It's a little awkward one handed, but he seems in control well enough. Once his hand is secure, he stares at it, and then up at Bev.)
I need to tell you something that I realized. That I think gives us all a lot of hope. Cause it's not just me having some dumb kid faith in my friends about the future. There's something really wrong about all our futures. I feel like there's a lot more there than we originally thought.
[She laughs because it's perfect. It's so Eddie Kaspbrak and god damn if she didn't miss him. It was good to have him back.]
Why am I not surprised? [Beverly smirks and takes her hand back.] I have a feeling you'll chase me down if I don't.
[Beverly leans forward, eager to hear what Eddie has to say. His words are enough to stir something inside of her, and she closes her eyes, shaking her head. She can barely remember what she saw, all of them, older. There was something else there when she saw her older self. The fading bruises she'd seen and felt. The sort that you only get one way.
She swallows, opens her eyes, and looks up at Eddie.]
Because you know I'm the only reason any of us will make it out of this station without suffering weird space versions of tetanus. (Eddie grins back at her, looking a little proud of himself. If the banter didn't go to show Bev that things really were better between them, well.)
Oh, trust me. I will.
(There were far more important things to discuss though. Eddie considers her question very carefully. Not so much that he has to think about its answer, because he knows it, but rather that he has to figure out the best way of putting it.)
It feels like somehow It managed to embody our fears and make them manifest in our futures. Like It knew the best how to weaken us all. (Stan kills himself, for Christ's sake. If that wasn't It trying to break apart the lucky seven...)
I think It knew we could beat it a second time if we remained friends. Could you imagine? Our relationships would have been...
(Completely different if they hadn't forgotten each other. Eddie feels oddly shy saying as much, his face going a little pink, and he can't for the life of him figure out why, and he's trying to ignore the face that comes to mind for his own lost future. He sits up a little straighter, looking away from Bev like she might be able to see into him.)
They would have been so solid. They are now, but if we'd kept knowing each other for years after, only getting closer...And if we all had come to be our very best. It would have never stood a chance. But that's not what happened. I think Its magic made us not only forget about each other, but somehow wind up on paths that lead to us being at our weakest, most vulnerable states.
I mean, okay. It doesn't feel right to talk about everyone else's future- but for me, I wind up thinking I'm way sicker than I ever was as a kid-. And I marry this woman who's just like my mom in every way. I'm this weak, useless....(Miserable man.)
It's true! [It feels so good to be back to what she had always been with Eddie. Maybe they were even closer now, only time will tell.
She's silent as Eddie explains. Honestly, it makes sense. It had been able to influence those around it- Henry Bowers, none of the adults caring... It had managed to infect every little bit of Derry and those inside it. It made sense that those things would fester and grow.
Hearing Eddie's interpretation of his life, she frowns, reaching her good hand out to squeeze his. He needed comfort.] You think that's true? [She gets how he knows these things from just a memory, just a vision. She had the same instinct.]
When I saw us... when we all come back... Eddie, I remember I was with someone. Dating some guy and I was afraid of him. in the back of my head I knew it. I'm not afraid of my dad but this guy... He hurt me worse than my dad did. I could feel the bruises.
[Eddie was the only person she could tell this too. He got it, being trapped with a parent like she was.]
that... with your vision... Eddie it can't be a coincidence.
(Maybe they weren't closer right away, but it felt like they were at a different stage now. Like they were about to fall into a closer relationship, and Eddie was honestly glad for it.
Eddie squeezes her hand back, grateful in a way that sank all the way into his core. It's true. Beverly was the one Loser who understood what an awful parent was like. Richie's and Bill's parents were awful in different ways. Ways that Beverly and Eddie would never be able to understand. People always said being loved by a parent could only ever be a good thing, but Bev's daddy loved her in...a way Eddie didn't fully understand, but knew was insidious. Just like the way his mother loved him was controlling, like breaking a bird's wings daily just to keep it close.
So to know that she saw her own devastating future...His grip on her hand is white-knuckled.)
We would never let a man treat you like that again, Bev. None of us. (Eddie swears on it. He might not be strong, but he knew people who were. And he likes to think the Losers had good judgement. If Bev met a boy here, they would all put him through the wringer.)
No, I don't think it's a coincidence. I really do think it's It influencing us. There's just no way. Our lives don't have coincidences, after all. I mean, doesn't it kinda feel like it makes sense- like the seven of us are meant to be together?
(Like that one time that one boy from Bill's stuttering class had tried being in their friend group. The kid wasn't bad, but he just....Didn't fit.)
[There was a good sort of love, the sort that let you blossom and grow. The sort the Losers had for each other. Then there was the toxic love that both Sonia and Alvin had for their children. The kind of love that was so twisted that it became wrong and dangerous.
At least here the children were free from that toxic love.
She squeezes Eddie's hand back, leaning over to rest her head against Eddie's shoulder. He was the first person she'd told- understandably.] Thank you. That means so much- I'm never going to let someone treat me like that again.
[She shivers. She hadn't told the Losers what had happened in her apartment to allow Pennywise to take her, that had shook her so deeply that she was able to be taken by surprise.
She considers this, and again, nods.] Everything all adds up for us. [They all had shitty lives, were bullied and picked on. But they all fit together so perfectly, like a weird puzzle. They were supposed to be together.] I like it so much better when we're all together.
(Eddie didn't just want to save himself from that awful future. He wanted to save them all.
When her head comes to rest on his shoulder, Eddie's almost taken aback by the gesture. But it makes sense considering what they were talking about. He makes a mental note that Beverly is okay to touch like this. He relaxes and rests his cheek against Bev's head, and after a moment, turns to give her a kiss on top of her head.)
Good. You deserve way more than that.
(They all did. They all deserved more than horrible clowns, horrible parents, and a horrible town.)
Yeah. (Sometimes he felt the 'Lucky Seven' thing was a little ironic. None of them were very lucky. But maybe all their luck went to their friendship, and he thought maybe that'd be worth it. He realizes he'd suffer a hundred times over if it meant having all these guys in his life.)
Me too. I hope...(The idea of Ben coming to the station unnerved him a little, but as he continues the sentence, he finds that he means it.)
I hope Mike and Ben show up here sooner than later too.
[Beverly blushes at his gentle kiss. He means no harm- like Richie, he's Safe, someone she can be more touchy with and not have to worry about how it may be construed. Because it's all just mutual.
She didn't have that with any of the others.
As if reading Eddie's mind, she speaks:] We all do. [So did Georgie and Eddie Cochoran, Betty Ripscom, they all deserved so much better than their terrible deaths.]
I do too. I miss them. I missed all of you. I just didn't remember it until I saw you all again.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Action
Date: 2018-01-05 09:12 am (UTC)But that didn't mean that Eddie didn't want to bridge the distance between himself and the Losers who had been absent during the promise. Ben wasn't in Avagi, but Beverly Marsh was. Eddie also was not quite as upset with Beverly as he was with Ben, or as he had been with Bill. He was still upset, but by now, he has realized that he was mostly upset because nothing had been resolved and that was almost worse. He had made it clear when they last spoke that he had been too angry, too upset to want to talk to her.
That was different now. Now that he was back to sharing space with Richie on a nightly basis, now that he was talking with Bill, now that he felt a little more himself. Beverly and him weren't really the tightest, but she was still a Loser, and in a way, she was something like the only sister he'd ever known. At least from home, anyway. She was special to him in her own way, and maybe he wasn't as close, but that connection was something he felt at the very center of his soul. He couldn't shut her out forever and frankly? He didn't want to.
So one night, late after he's gone on a walk, he comes back to the unit. He checks in on Richie briefly, moves through the unit quietly, and waits to make sure Beverly was alone in her room. Finally, he knocks at her door.)
Bevvie? It's me. Can I come in?
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Date: 2018-01-05 02:31 pm (UTC)When it comes to being with the Losers, Bev's just a little bit more withdrawn. She wants her friendship back with all of them- the one they had before they all showed up in space. Before this stupid future vision of this woman that wasn't her. This woman that would leave her friend in the sewers.
When the knock comes, Beverly's on her bed, looking at one of the books she's grabbed from the library. The name Bevvie gets her blood to run-cold for just a moment before she recognizes the voice. Eddie.
Her father isn't here, she reminds herself. He can't touch her here. She's in space.]
Eddie? Yeah, sure. [She braces herself. He has every right to be mad at her. She knows that. But holding a decision she has yet to make against her hurt.]
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Date: 2018-01-05 11:10 pm (UTC)It's a lot more awkward for him to be personable with Beverly. He doesn't know if he's allowed to sit on her bed or what, but finally, he decides to just treat her like the guys cause that would make this all a hell of a lot easier.
He pulls himself to sit down on her bed directly across from her, his legs crossed. He isn't looking at her, but the fact that he's here says enough.)
Um. You weren't technically here...Uh. I've been here for a while, and technically you missed my birthday back in November but so did everyone else so it's okay. Which means December was just recently, but I don't think you were here for Christmas. I still made you something though.
(He'd made one for all of the Losers, even the ones not here. Ben's was the only one without a ribbon though. He removes a badge from his pocket, and it's wrapped with a pink ribbon because of course it is. Girls liked pink, after all. 'Bev' is written in his surprisingly neat hand on one end of the bow, and then on the other, a simple 'For the only girl who bothered'. Bothered to what?
Eddie hands it over silently, his palm open and badge up.)
no subject
Date: 2018-01-06 02:34 am (UTC)Somehow, she knew she was never going to be that lucky.
Beverly puts her book down and leans forward, crossing her legs. She rests her elbows on her knees. She's trying not to feel bitter- she'd been so excited to see all of the boys, but not one of them had been excited to see her. There was a wedge there she'd never felt before, and she didn't like it. The first few nights, she'd cried herself to sleep, muffling her tears into her pillows. But she wants to know what Eddie wants to say. She's apologized for something she swears up and down she would never and will never do- Bev had put out a cigarette next to the reminder on the wall, a petty sort of way to say she'd got the message.
She allows herself to be pleasantly surprised, however, when he says he's gotten her a gift. Something he'd made. Beverly feels a rush of warmth through her chest as she takes the badge from him.] Wow, thank you, Eddie.
[Carefully, she removes the ribbon- it's pretty, and her room has a long way to go before it reaches the level of decoration the boys have going- but not before looking at the tag. Her face softens and she holds the bow to her heart, and she smiles.
Her smile widens as she looks at the badge.] Losers Club. I love it, Eddie. Thank you.
[She reaches out and hugs him, hoping that maybe this time, he'll hug her back.] It's all amazing. [He was one of her best friends. How could she leave him?] You're amazing.
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Date: 2018-01-06 02:45 am (UTC)He'd feel worse if it weren't for the fact that literally all the Losers had been crying themselves to sleep. This hadn't been easy on a single one of them, but Eddie was here to hopefully make things better. And not just with a little gift he had slaved over in the workshop.
This is the first gift he has ever given a girl, he realizes, and he feels his face flush as she carefully pulls apart the ribbon. A part of him was anxious she would take it the wrong way. He wasn't like Ben or Bill. But he keeps his mouth shut and trusts her to understand.
Eddie can't help but smile in relief when he sees Beverly smile.) Really? Thank God. It was hard making the words look so nice.
(This time, he does hug her back. And he makes up for the time he didn't by not just hugging her, but outright clinging tightly to her. That hug tightens even more fiercely when she said that he was amazing. She still smells like summer and Eddie lets himself relish in this, tucking his face into her soft shoulder. She was a lot different to hug Richie or Bill or Stan. But not different in a bad way. She was soft all over, and he liked it in the same way he sought comfort in hugging Rogue or Clara. He lets go after some prolonged time and sits back, his smile fading. But not into a bad expression, just a serious one.)
I'm sorry, Bev. I know I was- kinda harsh and...you weren't even there for everything. I was really upset. There was a lot--. But I know now, I know that the you here...You wouldn't do that to me. I know none of you would and I gotta believe that. I do believe it. You're my best friends.
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Date: 2018-01-06 03:14 pm (UTC)And you know what? She didn't care.]
How did you do it? [She wants to keep their conversation going, keep it as light as she could. Of course, that plan fails miserably when Eddie hugs her so tightly. She hugs him back just as tight, not wanting to let go of him.
By the time he pulls away, she's blinking away tears like an idiot.]
I-- [She could tell him how angry she'd been, how unfair it all felt, how lonely she'd been. She was living with her best friends in the entire world, boys she thought she'd never ever see again (barring their promise), and it had been like- hell, the best way to describe it was the changing room before Phys Ed with Greta right next to her. Uncomfortable, to say the least.]
I promise you, Eddie- I will never ever leave you somewhere. [Maybe in the future. But if she could remember this, it was worth everything.] I'm so sorry you saw that. I love you, Eddie- I never want to hurt you. I just want you back in my life, all of you.
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Date: 2018-01-06 05:11 pm (UTC)And truth be told, even despite everything, Eddie was grateful that Beverly was here. Each one of his friends felt like a different layer of armor to be wrapped around him.)
I'll show you. There's a workshop here. It isn't too hard, honestly. (Eddie was good with this sort of thing though. But he also knew Beverly was capable, and a bit of preconceived notions of women had begun to die out as he met more and more incredible ones here on the station.
There isn't too much of an option for lightness right now. There will be though, and Eddie had to have that calm faith in them all. Eddie would understand her though. He had been lonely too, Richie probably the most if only because it was Richie, and Bill, and Stan. It was miserable. He only felt bad in a different way for Beverly because she really did miss it all.)
I know. I know you wouldn't. (He means it too. Eddie blushes a little, but he smiles, because all the Losers had told each other they loved each other over that. He shouldn't have anticipated any differently from Beverly.)
I love you too, Bev. (A lot, he realizes.) We're all trying. It's a little weird with all of us. Like- there was- it was...Eugh. I'll explain it better some time, but a lot happened in those visions. It isn't so simple as saying like, oh it sucked because you all left me behind. I mean. I died just like Georgie, Bev. My arm was ripped off.
(He is pretty sure he doesn't need to explain to Bev the kind of impact that probably had on Bill.)
And Richie- he was trying to get me out. I was trying to tell him something before I died, and-. There's just... A lot that happened. And then there's the other visions we saw..(Richie's being alone, Eddie's wife, Bill's cheating. Stan's suicide. He wants it to be clear to her that...it wasn't just one thing. It wasn't simple. They were all going through a lot.)
We need each other now more than ever. So uh. Richie...He made us do a new blood oath. (Eddie removes from his pocket a small butterfly knife.) I was...wondering if you'd want to make it with me?
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Date: 2018-01-06 06:08 pm (UTC)Beverly looks down- she knows exactly what sort of effect that had to have had on Bill. Gosh, no wonder he hadn't been around lately. She couldn't blame him in the least, even if she wanted to. Even if she did sometimes.]
Other visions? [She hadn't heard about Richie or Stan or even Bill's future.] Tell me, so I don't do something stupid. [Say something careless, or do one thing and wind up setting one of her friends off for no good reason.
Bev looks down at the knife- the scar on her palm had closed, but it was still scabbed over.] Yes. [She doesn't hesitate, eager to put the nail in the coffin of this particular trial. She wanted to be their friend again. Fully their friend.
She was never too great at walking on egg shells.]
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Date: 2018-01-06 06:34 pm (UTC)Yeah. I don't think there's anything you can do that's too stupid. We don't know each other in the future, after all. (All their mistakes were their own.
Which wasn't fully true. He knows about Bill and what he does with Beverly when they meet up again- despite Bill being married. Eddie can't say that though. It would be wrong to Bill, and in a weird way, to Beverly. That was something Bill had to talk with Beverly about when he was ready to.)
It's okay. Just understand that not everything's gonna be personal. (Some things, obviously, but he feels like it's better to just leave things generalized for right now.
Eddie opens his own palms, and there's fresh cut across one palm. He picks up the knife and gently takes Bev's hand and cuts a straight line across it. He's rather professional about this, not dragging the blade with a skipping falter a bit like Bill had. There's something medically precise. Not too deep, but deep enough, and straight across. He slashes the opposite way of Bev's original scar so he only has to hit it briefly. He watches her hand open up, watches the red come out, and then turns the knife over to cut across his other palm, grinding his teeth together through the process. He lets out a breath, curling his fingers absently, before he sets the knife aside and grabs Bev's hands. Only it isn't straight across. He has to cross his arms over one another to grab Bev's hands with his opposites and he makes her do the same. In a weird sort of way, they wind up forming a bit of an infinity symbol between their arms. It somehow fits.)
Okay. We leave no Losers behind. We stick together. We're a family. We're gonna prevent all those futures we saw. We're not gonna let any of us die. I promise. (He looks up at her expectantly.)
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Date: 2018-01-07 05:21 am (UTC)Wait till they all find out about where Ben plays into it.]
Okay- thanks for telling me, Eddie. [She nods, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. Her red hair was getting shaggy as it grew out of it's pixie cut.
She holds out her hand to him, hardly flinching when he ran over her palm- she'd learned to take most of her licks silently. He's good with a blade, she can't help but notice. Maybe he'll grow up and be a doctor. He'd make a damn good one.
She moves to take his hand, only to pause as she figures out which way to put what arm. Honestly, it's a bit silly, the dance, before their arms and hands settle at last.
Beverly listens carefullly to every word Eddie says, committing it to memory. When it's her turn, she nods, and squeezes his hands.] We leave no Loser behind. We stick together. We're a family. We're gonna prevent all those futures you saw. We're not gonna let any of us die. I promise.
[There's magic in the promise, in the way they hold hands. Personal magic, or something shiner like the magic they'd found here on the station. It didn't matter. What mattered was she could feel it.
But man, they've got to stop making blood oaths.]
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Date: 2018-01-07 05:36 am (UTC)Thankfully for the time being, there were no more future visions to be seen. Eddie had avoided the Ingress since everything had happened though.
That wasn't so far off from his timid aspirations currently. But Beverly would come to learn that soon enough. They were all changing here. In good ways, even though it seemed not so good at the time.
It is a little silly, but Eddie's never done this with just one person and it somehow felt dumb to just do it normally. When Beverly repeats his words, Eddie smiles at her rather broadly, squeezing her hands tightly with his own. It stung a little, the cut, but it was the kind of sting that made Eddie think that the magic was working. He could feel it too, just the same way he'd felt the other promises he had made. He lets go of her hands a second later and frowns down at both their palms.)
We gotta sanitize this.
(At least they got better about that part? Eddie even came prepared with some iodine and bandages. He holds out his good hand to Beverly.)
Here. Give me yours.
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Date: 2018-01-07 05:42 am (UTC)Yeah- that'd be good.
[She places her bad hand in his, cut up so that he can clean and bandage the fresh wound. She'll watch him work carefully, peering over the top of his head to better see what he was doing.]
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Date: 2018-01-07 07:30 am (UTC)He's very careful with Bev. Not just because careful was his nature of being, but because she was a dear friend and he was careful with all of them. He pours the iodine out over her cut and gently dabs at it with a clean cloth. Once it's dried up, he rubs an ointment over it to prevent infection even further. Next comes a non-stick gauze, and around that, he wraps the whole thing very securely.)
Let me know when you need that changed. I have this place stocked up on medical supplies.
(Shocking literally no one. He does his hand up with the familiarity of a boy who has done this to himself a whole lot. It's a little awkward one handed, but he seems in control well enough. Once his hand is secure, he stares at it, and then up at Bev.)
I need to tell you something that I realized. That I think gives us all a lot of hope. Cause it's not just me having some dumb kid faith in my friends about the future. There's something really wrong about all our futures. I feel like there's a lot more there than we originally thought.
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Date: 2018-01-07 03:10 pm (UTC)Why am I not surprised? [Beverly smirks and takes her hand back.] I have a feeling you'll chase me down if I don't.
[Beverly leans forward, eager to hear what Eddie has to say. His words are enough to stir something inside of her, and she closes her eyes, shaking her head. She can barely remember what she saw, all of them, older. There was something else there when she saw her older self. The fading bruises she'd seen and felt. The sort that you only get one way.
She swallows, opens her eyes, and looks up at Eddie.]
Wrong? How....?
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Date: 2018-01-07 04:21 pm (UTC)Oh, trust me. I will.
(There were far more important things to discuss though. Eddie considers her question very carefully. Not so much that he has to think about its answer, because he knows it, but rather that he has to figure out the best way of putting it.)
It feels like somehow It managed to embody our fears and make them manifest in our futures. Like It knew the best how to weaken us all. (Stan kills himself, for Christ's sake. If that wasn't It trying to break apart the lucky seven...)
I think It knew we could beat it a second time if we remained friends. Could you imagine? Our relationships would have been...
(Completely different if they hadn't forgotten each other. Eddie feels oddly shy saying as much, his face going a little pink, and he can't for the life of him figure out why, and he's trying to ignore the face that comes to mind for his own lost future. He sits up a little straighter, looking away from Bev like she might be able to see into him.)
They would have been so solid. They are now, but if we'd kept knowing each other for years after, only getting closer...And if we all had come to be our very best. It would have never stood a chance. But that's not what happened. I think Its magic made us not only forget about each other, but somehow wind up on paths that lead to us being at our weakest, most vulnerable states.
I mean, okay. It doesn't feel right to talk about everyone else's future- but for me, I wind up thinking I'm way sicker than I ever was as a kid-. And I marry this woman who's just like my mom in every way. I'm this weak, useless....(Miserable man.)
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Date: 2018-01-07 07:41 pm (UTC)She's silent as Eddie explains. Honestly, it makes sense. It had been able to influence those around it- Henry Bowers, none of the adults caring... It had managed to infect every little bit of Derry and those inside it. It made sense that those things would fester and grow.
Hearing Eddie's interpretation of his life, she frowns, reaching her good hand out to squeeze his. He needed comfort.] You think that's true? [She gets how he knows these things from just a memory, just a vision. She had the same instinct.]
When I saw us... when we all come back... Eddie, I remember I was with someone. Dating some guy and I was afraid of him. in the back of my head I knew it. I'm not afraid of my dad but this guy... He hurt me worse than my dad did. I could feel the bruises.
[Eddie was the only person she could tell this too. He got it, being trapped with a parent like she was.]
that... with your vision... Eddie it can't be a coincidence.
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Date: 2018-01-08 06:49 am (UTC)Eddie squeezes her hand back, grateful in a way that sank all the way into his core. It's true. Beverly was the one Loser who understood what an awful parent was like. Richie's and Bill's parents were awful in different ways. Ways that Beverly and Eddie would never be able to understand. People always said being loved by a parent could only ever be a good thing, but Bev's daddy loved her in...a way Eddie didn't fully understand, but knew was insidious. Just like the way his mother loved him was controlling, like breaking a bird's wings daily just to keep it close.
So to know that she saw her own devastating future...His grip on her hand is white-knuckled.)
We would never let a man treat you like that again, Bev. None of us. (Eddie swears on it. He might not be strong, but he knew people who were. And he likes to think the Losers had good judgement. If Bev met a boy here, they would all put him through the wringer.)
No, I don't think it's a coincidence. I really do think it's It influencing us. There's just no way. Our lives don't have coincidences, after all. I mean, doesn't it kinda feel like it makes sense- like the seven of us are meant to be together?
(Like that one time that one boy from Bill's stuttering class had tried being in their friend group. The kid wasn't bad, but he just....Didn't fit.)
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Date: 2018-01-08 04:58 pm (UTC)At least here the children were free from that toxic love.
She squeezes Eddie's hand back, leaning over to rest her head against Eddie's shoulder. He was the first person she'd told- understandably.] Thank you. That means so much- I'm never going to let someone treat me like that again.
[She shivers. She hadn't told the Losers what had happened in her apartment to allow Pennywise to take her, that had shook her so deeply that she was able to be taken by surprise.
She considers this, and again, nods.] Everything all adds up for us. [They all had shitty lives, were bullied and picked on. But they all fit together so perfectly, like a weird puzzle. They were supposed to be together.] I like it so much better when we're all together.
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Date: 2018-01-08 10:53 pm (UTC)When her head comes to rest on his shoulder, Eddie's almost taken aback by the gesture. But it makes sense considering what they were talking about. He makes a mental note that Beverly is okay to touch like this. He relaxes and rests his cheek against Bev's head, and after a moment, turns to give her a kiss on top of her head.)
Good. You deserve way more than that.
(They all did. They all deserved more than horrible clowns, horrible parents, and a horrible town.)
Yeah. (Sometimes he felt the 'Lucky Seven' thing was a little ironic. None of them were very lucky. But maybe all their luck went to their friendship, and he thought maybe that'd be worth it. He realizes he'd suffer a hundred times over if it meant having all these guys in his life.)
Me too. I hope...(The idea of Ben coming to the station unnerved him a little, but as he continues the sentence, he finds that he means it.)
I hope Mike and Ben show up here sooner than later too.
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Date: 2018-01-09 04:01 pm (UTC)She didn't have that with any of the others.
As if reading Eddie's mind, she speaks:] We all do. [So did Georgie and Eddie Cochoran, Betty Ripscom, they all deserved so much better than their terrible deaths.]
I do too. I miss them. I missed all of you. I just didn't remember it until I saw you all again.